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What
would a musician do if he won a million dollars?
Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
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What
do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major. |
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What
happens if you sing country music backwards?
You get your job and your wife back. |
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What
do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get
on again and continue riding?
Bach in the saddle again. |
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How
many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on
the guest list. |
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I
once asked a drummer how to spell "Mississippi".
He said, "the river or the state?" |
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How
many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None...they just steal somebody else's light |
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What's
the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A fiddle has beer stains. |
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Why
did the bass player get mad at the drummer?
He turned a tuning peg, and wouldn't tell which one. |
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How
do you get a guitarist to play slower?
Put music in front of him. |
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Why
did the drummer stare at the frozen juice can?
Because it said, "Concentrate". |
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Why
are so many guitarists jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them |
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What
kind of microphone works best for an oboe in a live band?
A cordless with a dead battery. |
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A
tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb
of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to
be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing
against a piece of paper.
She collars
a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.
The local
person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."
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What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
A Chopin Liszt. |
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How
do you tell if the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth. |
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